[Note: This month we will be sharing some free tips from our X3coaches. These guys have some great insight so please enjoy]
Beating an addiction is hard. You don’t need me to tell you that. That’s why you’re currently reading this right? There are times when you feel on top of the world and believe you can take on any trigger or temptation that comes your way.
Other times you want to hide yourself away and ignore that voice straining to speak up that says looking one more time is a bad idea.
Addiction causes a separation between the person you know you can and want to be and the person you currently are. Bridging that gap is one of the most important pieces of work you will do to become free.
You probably already understand what I mean.
You know the right things. You know that you are loved and that grace covers everything you do. You know that you have a great family and that looking at porn and hiding it is causing an internal strife that overflows onto them. You know that you are ultimately free and that you do not need to be afraid. You know that you were created for more than this and that you have a purpose and gifts and talents and something important to offer the world.
Sometimes none of those things are able to convince you to not look at porn. Sometimes you come home and no one is around and before you really know what you are doing you are “innocently” searching. Sometimes you end up going farther than you want, sometimes you pull back just in time… before eventually giving in. Maybe not today, but soon.
These moments demonstrate that there is a divide within us, and the part of us that is controlled by shame and a powerful desire to numb our pain fights its way to the top.
So how do you unite those two parts?
There are a lot of different ways that you can achieve this and in coaching we’ll show you many of them. But there is one that has helped me over and over and continues to bring great healing to the broken part of me.
And it is meditation.
Maybe you already meditate or maybe you have no idea what I’m talking about and the mere mention of the word sounds a little too “new agey” for your liking. But at its heart, meditation is simply removing distractions from your mind by focusing on one thing. That could be by silently sitting and breathing while repeating a word or phrase, such as “Jesus”, “grace,” or “I am loved”. Or it could through the simple act of breathing and focusing on your own breath itself.
Maybe you even do it already and you don’t even know.
Either way, meditation is a powerful tool in reconciling your brokenness.
One technique, which can give you a new insight into why you look at porn, is a type of meditation called guided meditation.
Don’t worry, we can show you how to practice this (and it does require practice) but essentially it involves seeing yourself in the act of going to your trigger. Maybe that is by seeing yourself using porn in a particular room at a particular time of the day, or by seeing yourself angry or stressed, or any other emotion you know causes you to medicate with porn.
Most of us, when we are triggered, end up using porn and then wondering what happened. You know what you are doing and yet a part of you feels out of control. That’s because part of you has become unconscious to your trigger. You’re so used to using porn that you aren’t fully aware of the consequences or the repercussions.
Like driving on your daily commute to work, you’re so used to it that you don’t even have to think about it. You’re aware of driving, but simultaneously unaware.
You’ve become disconnected.
But by “observing” yourself in action, you are able to gradually bring back that level of consciousness that you’ve lost because of porn. You can become fully aware of yourself and of those actions which have previously been unconscious. Using your imagination in meditation has a way of making you truly aware of yourself when you medicate. It helps heal that part of you that is out of control by giving back control. And thus, you are better able to make a better decision for you and the people that love you.
Is this the secret or key to success? No. Honestly, there’s no one right solution.
But it does bring healing and allow you to become fully alive again.
And that can be the beginning of freedom.
If you would like to learn more about the X3coach Program and how it can change the game for you check out this video. Find out why coaching may in fact be the relational resource you need. Then learn how you can get a FREE coaching session by one of our pro’s.